In her speech at the 10th Annual USC Women’s Conference, my dear friend and colleague, Dr. Julie Miller shared the story of an experience she had with her high school guidance counselor, ‘Mr. Earl’. Take a look.
Most people I speak with have their own ‘Mr. Earl’ stories to share: a counselor, a teacher, a parent, a boss who could not see their potential for success. That lack of support can have long lasting consequences for us. For some, like Julie Miller, it can be a heavy motivator to prove ‘Mr. Earl’ wrong. For others, it can really derail them and add to those negative voices we all have that tell us we aren’t good enough.
Are You a ‘Mr. Earl’?
Perhaps you are a ‘Mr. Earl’ yourself. You can’t see the potential of someone, and you find yourself actively discouraging them from learning more and being more.
Don’t get me wrong, there is always a time and place for honesty and tough love. Performance and behavioral issues need to be met head on. However, is there ever a time when a supervisor, counselor or other influencer should tell a person that they are stupid and will never succeed?
Even if ‘Mr. Earl’ had been right about Julie, there are much more effective ways for him to communicate his concerns while building her self-esteem.
Checking Your Inner ‘Mr. Earl’
Think about it for a moment. What sort of effect can ‘Mr. Earl’ leaders and managers have on your company, including on productivity, morale, employee engagement, turnover and performance?
Research has shown that people don’t quit companies, they quit their managers. In fact, a 2017 a Gallup poll reported that 75 percent of employees quitting their jobs cited factors their immediate supervisor could directly influence: team culture (motivation and morale), scheduling, training, and promotional opportunities. These issues and others came strongly to the forefront during the pandemic, leading to 50+ million people quitting their jobs since April of 2021.
Imagine a Different Response
In Julie’s case, if ‘Mr. Earl’ had told her that he thought she should prepare more for college, he would have seemed a little more supportive, honest and less critical. Even better, he could have based his criticism on facts, such as: “You will have a hard time getting into your desired universities with your current GPA.” or “You need to bring your grades up, or maybe consider community college as a stepping stone.” That might not have been what Julie wanted to hear, however advice based on reality rather than opinion is much more constructive.
Develop Potential and Foster Success!
So how can you change? What can and should you do to help others achieve, especially if you supervise or manage employees or lead an organization?
You can address each of these reasons (above) and to keep your employees engaged and on the path to success:
- Coach employees whose skills or passion don’t quite line up with current job tasks.
- Create flexibility in scheduling and task sharing to make for a stronger team.
- Formulate development plans for each of your employees to look at their current skills and drive to where they want to go.
- Remember that there’s a difference between constructive criticism and being critical of a person.
It can be too easy to personalize an employee’s shortcomings and voice frustration in a personal manner. Avoid your inner Mr. Earl by taking a step back and looking at the employee’s potential. What value does he or she bring to your team? Can this employee become a star employee? What would it take for them to reach a higher level?
At True North Skills, we can help you develop your coaching skills and create definitive professional development plans to better leverage employee talent and reach your end goals. Call us at 425.835.2124 or schedule an exploratory call to discuss your needs and better lead your teams to success.
Post script: Dr. Julie Miller is the founder of what has become our signature Leadership Development Curriculum, Success-Minded Leader.
